10 Things I Try To Remember When I Miss My Toxic Ex

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I’m stuck in a vicious circle: I miss my ex so I get in touch with him and we get back together… and then we break up again for the same reasons as before. To break the cycle, I try to remind myself of the following things whenever I catch myself pining for him.

1. I CAN FINALLY SLEEP IN PEACE.

Sleeping (yes, literally sleeping) with a guy isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Sure, cuddling is niceand spooning is great but if I’m being honest, I’ve never had a good night’s rest while sleeping with my ex. He’s huge and took up most of the space and he snored loud and frequently. Worst of all, he was heavy but that didn’t stop him from draping a large muscly arm or leg over my body. I’ve been sleeping better and better since the moment we ended things.

2. HE WAS ONLY KINDA GOOD-LOOKING. There are good-looking men and there are okay-to-look-at men. He was the latter. Obviously he had nice features, but I’ve experienced stronger physical attraction to guys I see in passing than I have with my ex standing naked in my bedroom. I try to remind myself that life is too short, so you have to be with someone so beautiful to you that it’s hard to pry your eyes away.

3. HE WAS NO GOOD AT HELPING WITH MY PROBLEMS ANYWAY.

There have been too many times that my ex has ranted to me and I’ve listened actively and offered my advice only to be met with nothing more than blank stares and a half-hearted “That sucks!” whenever I share my own issues. I could never turn to him and expect to leave feeling better. I’d always have to go to my girls for that kind of support. Whenever I miss him, I go straight to my girls and it reminds me that good friends are all you need.

4. HE’S A MESS TO LIVE WITH.

Toothpaste everywhere, beard trimmings in the sink, and what I hope is water on the rims of the toilet seat—It. Was. Disgusting. Living with a guy shouldn’t be this terrible, right? If we were meant to be, I’d have to live with him for the rest of my life and I could never imagine doing that with him. Sometimes I’ll miss him and then notice my clean and tidy room and the feeling passes.

5. HE PARTIED WAY TOO MUCH.

I don’t mind the occasional clubbing and partying but he’ll be out at the club, turning up every other night. There has to be a line drawn, but not for him and that never sat right with me. If I miss him, I try to remind myself of how anxious I used to feel every time he would go out for the night and come home in the early hours of the morning.

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